Where do I begin….? I woke up this morning to that song stuck in my head-you know the one – the one from Love Story. OK, so maybe you’re not old enough to remember it. Trust me, it’s annoying and so is the movie. I mean, “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry!” What the hell is that supposed to mean – 44 years later it still baffles me.

But I digress, something I’m prone to these days. Digressing is much jeasier than facing what I’m facing and doing what I have to do. I’d rather hide my head in the sand – know what I mean? But it’s time to walk the walk and talk the talk.  Here’s what I tell my clients: “You need to talk, really talk about money because just like sex it’s on your mind all the time but you never really talk about it.”

So although I’d rather do anything else (even diet) it’s time to follow my own advice -I’m going to talk, really talk about what I’d much rather hide. I’ve decided to come clean, be honest and take you on my hair-raising journey. Of course, since I made that decision at 9:03 am on November 6th I’ve come up with at least 19,423 reasons why I shouldn’t..

Twice a year I take myself on a fall retreat – the same thing I’ve done for 10 years with the same group at the same place. I stop to come back to earth, reset myself so I can keep on plodding. It’s where reality settles in, creativity comes alive and friends support each other. And, every year I go kicking and screaming all the way—it’s easier to just keep going. You see, this being thing is tough and it’s much, much easier to be a human doing than a human being. But I digress…

Anyway, during a meditation, I hear “Share your Journey!” Loud and clear—more a shout than a message. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t my higher self. Maybe it was just that part of me that finds pleasure in pinching all those tender places—like the soft underside of my arm.

And, then the annoying song: ”Where do I begin to tell the story of how great a love can be?” If you haven’t seen Love Story, you really have to see it to believe it. I’m sure you can find it on Netflix. Ryan O’Neil and Ali MacGraw—at their irritating best. But I digress…

I wish what I’m about to tell you was a great love story; believe me, I’m working hard to come up with a new angle. Hmmm, I just typed the word angle as angel—what does that mean? Is it this place, a message from above or just bad typing? But I digress…

One day the angle is bad economic times, another day it’s the ridiculous real estate market or the curse of digital books. Then, of course, some days it’s just bad decisions (don’t like to go there) and you should know better (don’t like that one either) and the big one—you’re supposed to be the financial expert (I really hate that one)!

The bottom line is this: I’m in the middle of a financial meltdown, and lucky YOU get to live vicariously through it with me. So hang on. I’m about to get honest with the good, the bad and the ugly. Now there’s another good, old movie—another one that doesn’t play so well on hindsight. Something happens when movies age not always like fine wine. Of course there’s the real classics. Bogey and Bacall are another thing. But I digress….

So stay tuned for the good the bad and the ugly. Right now I don’t see much good but with you by my side maybe it’ll pop up and join us once in a while.

Here’s praying at you, kid….

Originally published at YourTango.com.


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