Suicide or Riot elicited a lot of heart-felt comments: “my heart aches for a world that communicates with their fingers rather than from their hearts, which cuts us off from the conversations that are crucial to our souls”, “support is everything… you’re not meant to do this alone” and “listen to others as we would want others to listen to us.”

Any major jolt to our everyday lives makes us stop and think and feel.  If we’re wise, we use that jolt to shift our thinking from old paradigms to something new.  In the moment we do that, but any real opportunity is lost if we don’t maintain that shift. Too often we revert back to the status quo until we get whacked again and remember—I could have had a V8!

So how do you create a new way of thinking, a new way of understanding and a new way of behaving from this momentary blip in your everyday life? How can you shift your unconscious thinking that’s always at work? By slowing down and paying attention to not only the supportive, heart-felt comments like those above, but also to those darker thoughts buried behind the scenes—the ones we pretend aren’t there.  These are the ones that shed light on uncomfortable underlying beliefs that keep us stuck and hold us hostage to old patterns.

What’s lurking underneath it all?  Something like, “I didn’t like his new show—I think he had lost it” or “how could he do that to his family” or “couldn’t he be happy with all that money?” Or maybe, “must be a red-neck town; it could never happen here” or “but what did the kid really do” or “boy, I’m glad I’m not prejudiced!”

What’s the belief underneath those thoughts–jealousy, self-sacrifice, money solves all or not in my backyard, there’s always blame or ivory-tower thinking? Those are the beliefs that keep us stuck in our thinking, defending our point and unable to listen to others. Those are the ones that get in the way and keep us moving in the same, old direction.

Getting real with our thinking and listening to our dark side brings about change. When we’re not able to see, hear or accept our part of the problem, no matter what it is, real change is long and slow—if not downright impossible.

What aren’t you listening to?

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