Sharon’s comment on my last blog got me thinking: where does self-love and self-care come into relationship first, money second? The way I’m thinking, self-love/care is the most important relationship to put first. But, I haven’t always lived that way. Maybe it’s my nurturing, feminine side; but somehow it always felt selfish. But as I get older (and wiser, I hope) I find that without self-relationship first, my life in general, and everyone in it, gets short-changed. It’s the old airplane oxygen mask lesson, “put yours on first and then help the person next to you”.

It’s the same with money. Countless people I’ve helped over the years put other people first and consequently found themselves at risk for financial security. That’s the easy way of looking at financial self-care but it goes way beyond that. It’s about being in-tune, really in-tune with why we make the financial choices we do. Are we choosing this as a quick fix for something else? Something we may not be in-tune with because we’ve been operating financially unconscious? Do we spend money on something to make us feel good in the moment instead of taking care of ourselves for the long haul? Or, maybe the opposite, do we not spend money because we’re living in fear of our own or someone else’s demons? Either way, our unconscious money choices keep us from the deep self-care we deserve.

Something to think about. Last night, tired after a 5 hour early morning road trip and a busy afternoon, dinner was far from my mind. I told my husband we deserved a nice dinner out. But this time I gave myself time to think a bit more about it; what did I really need? Some food and time to slow down. Now, don’t get too excited, I didn’t go all the way to cooking—but—I did opt for a quick meal at Miss Brunswick Diner at $35 dollars for two instead of the leisurely, expensive dinner for $100+. Bottom line? I slowed down, got food and had plenty of time for self-care afterwards. And, the $65 savings (and food) wasn’t too bad either!

What do you think? How do you put yourself first?

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