Last week I was at the Gestalt International Study Center in Cape Cod attending the first part of a three-part workshop on High-Impact Coaching. It was fantastic—so many new approaches to age old problems. The Gestalt approach matches my way of thinking in so many ways that I couldn’t resist sharing some of my learnings with you.
One of the core concepts we worked with was leaning into resistance. It started with a perfect demonstration by Stuart, one of the instructors. As he asked a willing participant to “resist me”, Stuart just stood there. When nothing happened, he asked again, “resist me”. It became perfectly clear that resistance doesn’t happen on its own—it takes two to tango. If we don’t resist the resistance there is no resistance. Are you with me?
So what does that have to do with our money life? Good question. I can think of a lot of places we resist with money both with emotions and behaviors. Simple behaviors like spending less and saving more. Usually when these come up we start with a basic litany of telling ourselves not to worry or to stop being so irresponsible. And then we go on to lecture about what we should do and beat ourselves up for not doing what a responsible person would do. Beating ourselves up—the ultimate piece de resistance.
But what if we leaned into the resistance with curiosity and no agenda for what needs to happen? Is it possible that we might shed some light on our distorted way of thinking and open to new possibilities—even if only a little? Maybe with leaning into resistance instead of falling into the shoulds, we’d strive for the what ifs. And there’s one thing I do know—a little what if at the end of the day will add up to a whole lot more.
So remember, don’t fight it – lean into it!