Sex and money – what do they have in common? They’re the last two topics we don’t talk openly about in America. Or, at least most of us are taught that money is something to keep quiet about.
I remember back in elementary school when I was asked to fill out a questionnaire about family income. “How much does your father earn (back before women’s lib)? I remember having absolutely no clue. Was it $200? $2,000? $20,000? If we ever talked about this at the dinner table, I must have been daydreaming!
But, by then I had already picked up some hints about our money situation. Dad was a car dealer, so we always had new cars – that must mean we had money, right? But, our favorite car could be gone in a minute if someone wanted to buy it. Must mean we needed money – we loved that car and now it was gone!
And, I continued this legacy when I raised my kids. I remember my son Kilian asking to go to McDonald’s for lunch. I explained that we really didn’t have the money for us to go today – we needed to watch our dollars. Later that day at the grocery store, he turned to me with tears in his eyes – “Do we have enough money for apples?”
So, not talking about money leaves us in confusion. How much is enough? How much do we deserve? Why is money always lacking? What’s it all about, Alfie?
What do you think? Tell me about your first experience with money. What do you remember? Is this experience still reflected in your finances today? I know it is for me – one day I can’t afford new jeans on sale – and the next day I buy a new car! What’s that about?
Back home in Maine – “The Way Life Should Be.” Really?
8 thoughts on “Sex and Money?”
Jane, so glad you started this blog. I look forward to getting the benefit of your insights. I think that attitude is it, you are so right. I feel like having a solid, healthy attitude toward monetary health is essential, and that I am lacking it entirely. You post hs me contemplating what my growing up was like regarding money and I look forward to taking some time later to see what I can remember. Do you have any questions, tips, or prompts help me explore this?
Hi Larissa;
Start by thinking about how did your Mom and Dad deal with money together. Can you remember conversations – spoken or unspoken? Or, maybe there weren’t any – that can reveal a lot too.
Let me kow what you discover!
Jane
Very true. It’s still a very “taboo” subject. I’m 35 and still have no idea how much my dad makes. And I would never think to ask him either!
I also think it’s funny…sometimes we react more to little expenses (“a hamburger for $10? Insane!”)than to big expenses (“sure, let’s get that new BMW”).
Hi Joel, I can identify with your burger/car story. I have my own last car purchase that I use to remind me of how not to make a big purchase! But the good news – I’m learning.
Jane
Jane, great questions– got me thinking:
I remember how cool it was, way back when, to set out a few paper cups of cherry Kool-Aid on a card table in front of our house one summer day, and a neighbor actual put a nickel in our coffee can, in exchange for a drink!! It hit me just then, “Wow! so this is how it works!”
I often wish it were still that simple–to just buy a simple, small quantity of something, with the cash you have on hand… there is so much “extra” of everything in our lives… most so unnecessary, don’t you think? Jeanne
Jeanne – I remember those days – I actually tried to sell colored hailstones after a big storm! I learned door to door sales were hard – and not for me!Jane
Jane, Great Blog! Where we are today financially is due to the beliefs we formed when we were very young. Many of them are unconscious that we are unaware of but that are still affecting our financial freedom, abundance, and propersity. I remember my parents always fighting about money that there was not enough and times were bad. I remember my relatives wanting to give us children money and our parents making it wrong to accept money as gifts from others.
For me, it is time to look at things differently from the way my parents did! I am believing in unlimited abundance and it feels great!
Hi Judy;
You are not alone with those memories of fights over money and not being able to accept gifts. What is so interesting is how those same memories play out so differently in peoples behavior!
Jane