Sunday, after saying goodbye to our granddaughter following her Boston weekend with us, the wait person remarked, “Grandchildren love being with us because we always buy them anything they want”. And, I fell into the trap of accepting one of society’s programmed beliefs about grandparents and grandchildren. I laughed and said, “you’re right.”
And ever since, that response has been bothering me. Because when I stop to think for myself, my response is loud and clear, “No, you’re wrong!” We give kids no credit for expecting more from us and life. We fall into society’s thinking that all we need and all they want is what money can buy. But, that is far from the truth and we do injustice to all of us when we fall unconsciously into this pattern of thinking.
The truth of the matter is, the good time was being with her from Friday night through Sunday morning with no distractions. We were all hers—not monetarily—but mentally and emotionally. The best times were conversations in the sauna, discovery moments at the Museum and just plain hanging out in the hotel room. And none of these involved money.
Unfortunately, because of this programmed thinking, sometimes we use money to calm feelings of guilt when we can’t be there. Instead of finding a few minutes of real connection, we do something with money. But it’s not the same—and we must remember that. It doesn’t take money to really connect with each other. All it takes is us—all of us (without our pocketbook)—even if it’s only 5 minutes.
Thanks for the memories……..
9 thoughts on “I Don’t Think So!”
My favorite post yet, Jane, thanks!
Jane,
The best moments spent with my grandmother were spending time with her listening to her stories. I just loved to listen to her as she would just light up talking and telling stories from the past. etc. I just loved her so much as she was the most beautiful soul and spirit on the planet. I miss her very much as she passed last year at 90, but I will always remember my love and connection to the beautiful person she was. The best moments of life don’t cost a thing, because they come from the heart and soul and they are priceless!
Jane,
You are right it is not the pocketbook that children enjoy. It is the attention of an adult who loves and cares about them. We teach children to expect monetary things as they grow older but it does not start out this way. It is our guilt as well as insecurity. What they enjoy the most is the grandparent who makes silly memories with them for example slidding down stairs!!!
From my friend Arlene via e-mail;
As one of your most senior bloggers, I would like to emphasize to you that it is truly not about the money. The time you spent with your grand children taking them to the places their parents do not have the time to enjoy, is far more impressionable and long lasting. I see this with my sister’s grandchildren who are showered with money; yet what do they enjoy most? Visiting the farm, picking apples, or hunting for a four leaf clover with their elderly aunt.
When I was a child, I rushed in from the school bus to the “front room” where my Grammie was always sitting in her rocking chair, knitting or crocheting and then, as soon as I arrived…she always stopped to tell me a story. Whether the stories were true mattered not to me; only that she was there, waiting for me. I felt so important.
Just as you did, and will…..it is not about the money, it is about the time spent….far more precious.
I loved this, Jane. It’s so true. Just spending short amounts of time with my grandchildren is very rewarding. My memories of my ‘grammie and grandpa” will always stay with me and money was not involved.
I totally agree with you! I would love to discuss a topic like this on The Sheri and Erin Show…finding Joy with and without money and also using Joy as a way to attract money. I’ll send you an e-mail
Hi Jane, all the times just hanging around floating, singing, just hanging were all the best times. love your blogs. i read them in three’s usually. keep them coming.
Very true, the things I remember about my gram and gramps, are camp, italian sandwiches, camping trips and the video camera:) I know miss taylar loves when she gets to play and laugh with her grandparents.
As a grampa I loved the picture and totally agree that it is not what I buy him but the time we spend playing. Thanks Jane