Over two years ago I wrote this blog. After a too busy last week and even busier start to this week, I decided to repurpose it in honor of Valentine’s Day – hope you enjoy it!

Today is Valentine’s Day; the day to honor love. It got me thinking about how we have been programmed to expect certain things on certain days. There are countless jokes about making the wrong gift decision – or just plain forgetting.

“Bob was in trouble. He forgot Valentine’s Day. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Wednesday.”

Yes, it’s funny – but how do jokes like this burrow into our subconscious and influence our gift giving? We’re told the gift should be big and flashy – if we don’t get it right we’re in big trouble. And, for those of us on the receiving end – is it possible to be happy with something less or will “keeping up with Joneses” start us down a path of despair? No wonder so many of us have problems giving and receiving. How do we even know what is important to us when we’ve been fed these messages all of our lives.

So next time you’re on the line to either give or receive – take time to think about what really puts value and joy into your life. Don’t buy into the old messages (or the new ones coming your way every day). Make the day your own!

So Happy Valentine’s Day. Turn down the volume on your internal messages and make this day a day of loving those intangible things in life.

But while doing that, don’t forget to include that very tangible special person!

Okay, I’m coming clean. I overindulged during the holidays and not just with food. I overindulged with spending, with giving (and receiving), with socializing and with time off. When I look back over the last two weeks, I’m not sure I did anything in moderation. And, although I could talk about all the shoulds I violated, I actually see a silver lining in this.

I am sooooo happy it is January 5th. I’m back in the saddle again and ready to take on a new life. I’m ready to conquer any new frontier and already have some new personal commitments. I’ve joined a 45 day Real Food Challenge, promised to only dine-out once a week, and committed to use lists to organize myself. Right now, the past weeks’ overindulging is making it easy to stay focused.

But, the big question is – how do I keep the focus when I’m no longer sick and tired of my previous behavior. In a few weeks when I’m full of pride for being such a ‘”good” girl, will I fall back into overindulgence? Absolutely, if I think it’s about being good.

Overindulging isn’t about being a bad girl—it’s about being human. Like it not, we are not perfect beings and if we expect to be perfect, we’ll be sorely disappointed. The key is to see both sides of the coin as neither good nor bad, whether it’s overspending and penny pinching or luxurious dining and common leftovers or disorganization and a tidy structured life. If we don’t see these as just part of what is, we’ll be fighting for that perfection that will always be out of our reach—and the cycle of bad and good will continue.

So, as a human, I’m going to strive to be that detached observer. And, when I overindulge, I’ll say, “isn’t that interesting”. And when I live frugally, I’ll say “isn’t that interesting”. Because the truth is, when you come right down to it—isn’t life interesting?

Always learning or as some say AFGO!

I think this year I’ll commit to a New Year’s Solution instead of a New Year’s Resolution.  Resolutions don’t seem to work for me.  Somehow resolving to make a change isn’t enough.  But, acting like I already have the answer feels like a better chance for success.

One of the basic elements of Empowerment methodology is the shift from Pathology to Vision—from focusing on what doesn’t work in our life to what we really want.  I think that’s the difference between a resolution and solution.

With a resolution we decide to change a problem:  I’ll lose weight or spend less.  With a solution, we can focus on a new vision because the problem has already been solved.  It’s a subtle shift in perception but it feels totally different and it is so important to the outcome.

Just thinking back on the financial problems of 2009, we can get lost in the gloom and doom of the year.  We don’t even want to think back to the mess.  And, resolving to clean it up, isn’t going to help.  But, if we can affirm that we already have the solution and move toward a vision of financial stability, the shadow lifts and we can get a clear picture of where we’re heading.

So my New Year’s Solution is I have a financially balanced life that reflects my own conscious money beliefs and values.  And, while I’m at it, I eat food that supports a healthy lifestyle!  What’s your New Year’s Solution?

There, that feels much better! (And, yes, this is a repeat from 2009!)

Gorham Savings Bank (my local bank) recently posted this article.

BAD NEWS – Maine CPA says Bankers and Investment advisors are wrong about how to achieve financial independence.

12.05.11

An auspicious moment in time. Someone told me that the thing to do on 11/11/11 was to set an intention for the future—something we wanted to see for ourselves and the world. So, while on the phone with a coaching client this morning, we decided to state our intentions at 11:11 to be sure we used as many 11’s as possible.

We found that our intentions evolved from the same desire—finding balance—something so elusive in today’s world. We started in different directions—mine balancing giving and receiving—hers from generally feeling out of balance. But our bottom line was the same; when things feel out of balance life in general is overwhelming. So, as we set our intentions for personal balance, we also did the same for the greater world. After all, grass roots efforts aren’t only about protests and such.

We decided a good place to find balance would be in finding joy in the simple things we were already doing. So often, our everyday tasks turn into chores filled with feelings of dread and overwhelm. But, if we shift our attitude a bit and give up a timeline or agenda, tasks can actually become enjoyable. Because, face it, if we keep waiting for that one big moment, whether it’s filled with joy, love or even money, we never find it. And, the longer we wait the higher our expectations get and the probability of finding that perfect moment becomes smaller and smaller. And, in the meantime, we miss all those other moments.

So for me, I’m going to receive all those small joyful moments with open arms. And, when I give more than required, the memory of receiving small moments will keep my giving side in balance. And, for my client, she’s going to add some joyful things to her life to balance the less pleasurable chores she faces. Because when we start our journey to balance by filling the scales with joy, it’s much easier to accept the other side of things.

Now where do we find the joy to balance the world’s financial crisis?